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custom of weddings, though common to all societies, takes
on unique form in each country due to their different living
environments and historical developments.. China's wedding
tradition traces back more than 3,000 years to the rites of
the Duke of Chou. Over the years, the Chou customs were simplified,
such that the wedding ceremony evolved into three stages:
The prenuptial ceremony, the official ceremony, and the after-wedding
ceremony. During the prenuptial ceremony, the couple became
engaged, in a gesture to express respect and sincerity to
marriage; during the official ceremony the wedding itself
was held, symbolizing the joining of husband and wife as one
body; and after-wedding ceremony was celebrated as a rite
of passage into married life .
Weddings in Ancient Times:
Chinese, marriage" is homophonous
with "dusk," a relation which Cheng Hsuan explains
is due to the ancient custom of "capturing" a
bride in the darkness of those hours. Marriage was considered
at that time to be a biological and social necessity, and
was thus conducted by the two methods of "capturing"
and finan- cial transaction.
Marriage by Capture:
In early times, men commonly "captured"
their wife-to-be, tak- ing advantage of the dusk hours when
her family was unprepared.
Marriage by Financial
Transaction: "
The former custom of buying and selling
a bride was known as the Two Deerskin ceremony. In later
times, weddings were composed of six ceremonies of betrothal
and marriage, including matchmaking, the mar- riage agreement,
asking names (involving the placing of the names of the
couple on the ancestral altar), arrangement of betrothal,
in- forming the bride of the marriage day, and receiving
the bride. Wild geese were offered as gifts, and betrothal
presents and money were bound in black and light red silk.
Such has the practice of selling brides evolved over the
ages." (From Liu Shih-pei Chuan-chi)Thus, the Two Deerskin
ceremony is theearliest incarnation of the custom of weddingceremonies
in China.
The Six Matrimonial
Rites:
 1. Matchmaking:
In former times, this practice was equivalent to the current
custom in China of comparing the horoscopes of a prospective
couple and arranging marriage through match-maker. In those
days, a match-maker was first requested to go tothe woman's
family and speak on behalf of the male suitor. If the family
consented to the pro- posal, the man presented them with
a wild goose, a gift which had two meanings:
(1) The wild goose is a migratory bird, wintering and returning
north at the ap- propriate times without change, and thus
signifies the hope that both the man and the woman will
not change their mind about the wedding.
(2) Wild geese maintain a strict order
in their flight formation, and thus the gift also represents
the wish for maintaining the pro- per ordering of young
and old during the wedding ceremony.
2. Asking of Names (Agreement of Horoscopes): This rite
involves divining the auspiciousness of the marriage based
on the names of the couple. If the names are well- matched,
then the marriage can proceed.
3. Marriage Agreement: The family of the bride sends it
written consent to the marriage.
4. Arrangement of Betrothal (Contract signing, sung ting,
and completion of betrothal): During this stage, the betrothal
money is paid to the woman's family and the day of the wedding
can be set. The marriage contract is then signed and gifts
of money are presented; a practice popularly known as sung
ting, hsiao pin, hsi ting, hsiao ting, and wen ting.
5. Informing the Bride of the Wedding Day: The groom's family
arranges the gifts for the wedding and notifies the family
of the bride. After the bride's family accepts the presents,
the wedding date is set.
6. Receiving the Bride: The groom prepares a wedding palanquin
and personal- ly goes to greet the bride during this part
of the official wedding. It is the focal point of the entire
ceremony and marked by a mood both gay and solemn. Marriage
is a cornerstone of society and a means of determining the
relationship between man and woman, expanding the family,
and bearing children. It also represents a formalization
of the economic division of labor between the sexes. The
wedding ceremony imparts the parties involved with a sense
of momentous significance that cannot be treated lightly,
strengthening their concept of marriage and family responsibility.
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